do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
