Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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