I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My dick has a subreddit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
