dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
