fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
