Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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