Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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