I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
