I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
