ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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