Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
