She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
