We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You pole danced in your parka.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize