i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
