fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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