it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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