I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
