Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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