She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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