So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
