So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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