Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
