i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
