i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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