Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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