from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
