I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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