Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
