he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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