You're so nebulous sometimes
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
