I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
