Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
