i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
