so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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