what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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