I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
