my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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