Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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