Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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