there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
