Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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