My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
