i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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