Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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