garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
