Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
