idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
