Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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