finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
