It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
