she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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