she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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