I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
