My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
