Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
