You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize