My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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