There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
