sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
