Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
