I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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