john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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