it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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