think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
